Bottomline Bodybuilding

A: No! The last thing you want is to have an illegal substance in a government building. P.O. boxes must be registered with ID that will lead a trail straight to your door. Unless you can get one under an alias, don't do it.

Also, whenever ordering by mail use a fake name, or one similar to your own. (i.e., if your name is "Bill Johnson" use something like B. Jackston")

Even if the package arrives, the first thing you should do is write WRONG ADDRESS RETURN TO SENDER in magic marker on the envelope. The reasoning here is, in a worst case scenario where the Feds were waiting to bust you, their evidence will be tainted. As a defense, you can always say that the package wasn't yours, which is why you wrote upon it. But don't explain this to ANYONE -- especially that nice cop who has a son about your age and he wants to "help" you. He's the most dangerous guy in the room.

Q: What if I'm asked to sign for package?

A: Don't do it. Signing something is ten times more incriminating. Q: I got a package I didn't order. Can I keep it?

A: Receiving "gifts" of contraband is an old law enforcement sting. Sometimes it'll be something like an innocent old lady claiming to be your neighbor or a hot young babe who just moved in and got your mail by mistake. You'll be more likely to accept it from these people than from a guy who has "COP" written all over his face. But if you do, expect a knock (or a crash) on the door ten minutes later after you've opened up the package of goodies. Entrapment? You betcha. But it happens all the time.

A: You've been screwed. Treat it as an inexpensive lesson.

For more detailed information on this topic I'd recommend the book "Legal Muscle" by Rick Collins (

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